New Year Resolution pt4 Skills and Hobbies

 So much for keeping up with this, it’s now 23rd Feb and I am only on part 4, it will be summer before I finish!

At the beginning of each year many of us think this will be the year we make changes and get more out off life and become happy. In reality, not much changes and by the end of the year we feel bad for not having achieved anything that feels worthwhile.

Apparently the top 10 New Year resolutions are ;

1. Exercise more
2. Lose weight
3. Get organized
4. Learn a new skill or hobby 
5. Live life to the fullest
6. Save more money / spend less money
7. Quit smoking
8. Spend more time with family and friends
9. Travel more
10. Read more

I would like to do most these too, except for losing weight and quitting smoking, they are all big things, but we believe that they will make us more happy. Many people will have already given up, or like me won’t even have started yet as life gets in the way and most of the things we want are too vague and we feel overwhelmed by it or just realise it is not realistic. Then of course we get annoyed and feel like we have failed.

I have decided to write a post about each resolution, I would love to say I will do one a day, but know that is far beyond me, one a week would take us to the end of March!! So will just have to see how it goes and how much I ramble on or get distracted by other things, I am way behind even the once a week schedule, so much for resolutions!

I always find new year hard and would love to be able to do so much. I always feel that I haven’t achieved anything and am in the same place I was a year ago, only change is I am a year older!! Other significant events make me feel this way too, my daughter turned 16 at beginning of the month, where did her childhood go. I was an old Mum anyway so now I feel so old and so guilty for all the things I can’t do for or with her, not that she needs me much now. She has mock exams this week in the run up to GCSE’s in May. It doesn’t seem that long since I was doing exams, but that was 1987, where does the time go?

No.4 Learn a new skill or hobby.

I am always wanting to try new things, but in reality struggle to do the stuff I already know how to do and I mess up even the simplest of tasks.

For Emily’s birthday I wanted to make her a stuffed Dachshund. I found a pattern called Dapper Dachshunds free to download so thought I’d give it a try. Firstly I couldn’t work out the pattern, then the pieces were too small to work with so I had to enlarge it. I had to ask my husband for help several times as I just couldn’t figure out the simple instructions. Anyway I finally finished it, 2 weeks late!

Whilst he is cute and wasn’t too bad once I worked it out, I don’t think I will be rushing to make anymore. P.S I didn’t make the cat!!

When I was 10 I learned to play clarinet, but had to give up lessons when I started work at 16. Emily now plays it instead and has lessons. I have wanted to relearn it for a long time. In December 2021 I bought a book called I used to play clarinet to get me back into it, I haven’t even opened the book yet!!

I keep looking at new card techniques, but of course all new things come at a cost. I am still learning to use my Cricut, which I got for my birthday last year, it is a fickle beast and the design space which I pay to use, is not fit for purpose.

I keep getting reminders for the latest Cats Protection Craftalong. I got the last two and managed to do my felted cat to go on the Christmas tree, it was no work of art. I still have the printed tea towel to do from last Autumn. The latest one is a quilled picture and looks really sweet, but again comes at a cost. The proceeds go to charity and I like to support them, but then I feel bad for spending the money and not getting the project done.

For Valentine’s Day I got Rob and I a pottery throwing class and we went on Sunday. I never realised it would be so draining, i was already in a bad way before we went, but after an hour I had to give up. I even ended up with bruises on the sides of my hands. I struggled to hear the tutor and even with a demonstration I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. My first pot collapsed and my second looked like a candlestick. It was good to try something new, but not in the same week we are having a new kitchen fitted and in the cold weather.

The big new thing for us at the moment is a new kitchen. We started looking in 2018, but couldn’t find something we liked or get anyone to do the work and then we all know what came along in 2020 so it all went on hold. We spent much of last year trying to get quotes and people either didn’t turn up or didn’t get back to us with quote and it just became too much chasing people. Eventually we found the people who are doing and a kitchen that we liked so work began at the beginning of last week. We have no kitchen and boxes all over the house, have to wash up in the bath and send washing to Launderette, cooking meals in dining room in air fryer and microwave. The whole house is filthy with dust and I am really struggling, with the mess, the constant people in and out, the noise, being without water and electric and the stress of things going wrong. The kitchen is coming along now and we may be able to use some of it soon, but won’t have worktops for several weeks yet or splashbacks as they have to be measured for after fitting the rest of the kitchen. There have been several issues as there always is and as we know from doing other stuff in the house some nightmares get uncovered, I wonder how the house is still standing sometimes, it was only built in 1979. Having work done always makes me really unwell, I am coughing all the time and so exhausted, spending most of the time laid in bed. I feel really guilty as Rob is working through it all, Emily is doing mock exams and one of the kitchen fitters is working after dislocating his finger yesterday!

For Christmas Rob bought me a silver clay kit, we had tried this when we were on holiday in October and it worked quite well. I haven’t had chance to look at the kit yet, I can’t get to most of my craft stuff and I also need a hob to fire the clay on. Hob and sink will not be fitted until after worktops. There is so much dust around making things is not really the best thing to do.

I always feel like I am still waiting to start a career as I have not been able to work for 23 years. I am haunted by the past and not a day goes by where I don’t question where I went wrong and mourn the things I used to do ( I need to find an alternative to the word thing, I use it far too much.) At 51 rapidly approaching 52 I am unlikely to have much chance at anything new or to go back to what I did before, but it would be good to feel I can achieve something and that I haven’t messed up my whole life.

So how can I learn new things? I am not sure really as I am so overwhelmed by everything I already have to and so many things I have tried and found too difficult. Now is probably not the best time to be thinking about it with so much else going on, but when is a good time? I’d love to discover something that I am really good at and that doesn’t make me feel so ill and useless. Society is very focused on what we can do, what our job is becomes a label, working full time and having time for hobbies, a social life and family seems to be the aim for life. When you have a chronic illness that robs you of your ability to do any of these, you feel so useless and have no identity or purpose.

Icy Challenge

 The Outlawz challenge from 19th February is based on the rhyme

It is a sponsored challenge by Fred She Said Designs so we had to chose a digital stamp from this designer to use on our card. I chose a penguin. I like to use mixed techniques in my cards and as we are in total chaos in the house at the moment due to kitchen refit, I decide to use a stitched pattern from Ann’s Paper Art (pattern a097)

So this is my card with the penguin who looks like he is skating, I used the swirls to represent the “carved in cursive” and using icy colours. I had planned to put an ice skate onto the image too, but when I tried to cut using my Cricut the images were too small and couldn’t be cut and I had run out of time to be ready for the challenge. Check out the designs from the other designers, why not have a go yourself with the chance to win a $10 gift card for Fred She Said.

This one off card is now available to buy from me, suitable for Christmas, a winter birthday, penguin lover or ice skater, greeting can be added.

On to the next challenge, can’t wait to have access to my craft stuff and a peaceful clean house again, but all quite a long way off!

Challenge Entry

 My entry for https://outlawzchallenges.blogspot.com/p/tuesday-colour.html inspired by the pink and blue colours. Made using Gemini Create-a-card Ribbon Threading Die – Bold Florals with ombre pink glitter card, blue pearlescent card, blue gingham card, pink dandelion backing paper and a pale blue card.

New Year Resolutions pt3 Organisation

 Today is February 1st, I am not sure where January went. It feels a bit daft to be talking about New Year Resolution still, but I am only at number 3! They may have to change to resolution of the year

Well it’s that time of year again where we all think this will be the year we make changes and get more out off life and become happy. In reality, not much changes and by the end of the year we feel bad for not having achieved anything that feels worthwhile.

Apparently the top 10 New Year resolutions are ;

1. Exercise more
2. Lose weight
3. Get organized
4. Learn a new skill or hobby 
5. Live life to the fullest
6. Save more money / spend less money
7. Quit smoking
8. Spend more time with family and friends
9. Travel more
10. Read more

I would like to do most these too, except for losing weight and quitting smoking, they are all big things, but we believe that they will make us more happy. Many people will have already given up, or like me won’t even have started yet as life gets in the way and most of the things we want are too vague and we feel overwhelmed by it or just realise it is not realistic. Then of course we get annoyed and feel like we have failed.

I have decided to write a post about each resolution, I would love to say I will do one a day, but know that is far beyond me, one a week would take us to the end of March!! So will just have to see how it goes and how much I ramble on or get distracted by other things.

I always find this time of year hard and would love to be able to do so much. I always feel that I haven’t achieved anything and am in the same place I was a year ago, only change is I am a year older!!

No.3 Get Organised

I try to be organised, every day starts with good intentions, but by about 9am they have usually gone out the window! On Monday I had 4 tasks I wanted to get done that day, today is Wednesday and I am just starting on task 2. Today is a national teachers strike and my daughter is at home trying to study for GCSE’s. Lack of normal routine always make me feel less organised and I am trying to think about so many things at once, my head feels in a jumble, so I feel disorganised. I am trying to write this whilst trying to decide what vegetables to order for next week and juggling messages from several people talking about different things, deleting words typed by the cat and then getting distracted by a rainbow!

I have always been useless with time management and unless I do something straight away I end up with long lists of this to do. Emily has just come down to print a revision timetable, I hope she is better than me at sticking to it. It’s difficult to plan a timetable when you have no idea how much energy or concentration you will have and how much rest you will need each day. i factor in rest, but then always seem to need to add more. Tasks take longer to achieve and frequent mistakes prolong everything and don’t help with motivation. I feel awful nagging Emily to work, when I am getting very little done and I feel like a bad example to her and also feel so sorry for the kids as the strike is affecting them badly and is not their fault. I really don’t understand strikes, the people that suffer are the ones most in need, the poor kids are expected to do well in exams, but the teachers don’t want to help them and then when the kids do badly it will affect them for the rest of their lives it’s really not on. I just find it so upsetting, but neither the teachers or the government will back down, we might as well just shut the country down again. I am sure many people will disagree with me, but seeing my daughter struggling due to having missed so much school due to Covid and now as the exams approach there is more disruption yet they are still supposed to meet high expectations. The people who are striking already have jobs, yes the pay might not be great and working conditions hard, but our kids are the next generation of workers and they need to be able to pass exams in order to get jobs, employers and further education won’t make allowances for all the lost teaching time.

I easily get overwhelmed so if something goes wrong or someone messages me or talks to me, I feel I can’t cope. If I am crafting I get stuff out that I need but then find it overwhelming and keep losing sight of things and use my energy looking for stuff. My craft stuff is reasonably well organised, but I can never find what I want or find I don’t have what I want. Even having a small amount of stuff out feels really chaotic to me and makes me lose focus on what I am trying to do. Getting things out and putting away takes energy that I don’t always have.

I often need help with things that go wrong or I can’t remember how to do something I have done loads of times before. Asking for help makes me feel even more disorganised, yet it’s not my fault.

I have so many things I want to do or have part done, the list is endless and this again makes me feel overwhelmed and I end up doing something totally different to get away from it.

The rest of the family are not interested in planning ahead and leave things till the last minute, I find this really hard as I need to know what needs doing and can’t cope with a mad rush to get something done a the last minute, like deciding what we are eating just before it needs to be cooked or trying to spread things out to make it easier but then it not being done until its a mad rush to meet a deadline. If we are going somewhere I like to allow plenty of time, but being reliant on others means it’s usually last minute and then I feel we are rushing and feel disorganised even though it is not my fault.

What can I do? I don’t know the answer to this, making lists can be helpful, but also makes me feel overwhelmed Having a plan is the same if I don’t get to do what was planned or have to change plans I feel useless. I can’t do anything about my energy levels or poor concentration. I can’t choose when people might message me or want something. I can’t change things that go wrong or don’t work out as I thought they would.

I will continue to try and get more organised and plan my time better and try not to feel so out of control and disorganised by things that are not my fault.

Postscript

After attending Emily’s parents evening last night I have to say my attitude to the teachers has changed, they all took time to come and see us in a quiet room so that I could hear and were all very supportive of Emily. It was very helpful.  It has been such a difficult few years for staff and kids, but they are all so passionate and want the best for the kids in still such difficult times.  I have to admit I was angry about school being closed for the strike, it is such bad timing for the exam students and felt like the staff were trying to make life even harder for the kids.  Seeing them last night I realise that this is not the case, strike timing is still bad, but I guess there is never a good time. They have to do this times several hundred too, yet it still felt like a personal meeting. It is a hard year for exams as the kids have still missed so much yet the exams are not making any allowances this time. I expect there will be a great fuss if results are down, but it will hardly be a surprise. Emily wants to go on to do A levels and certainly has the ability so fingers crossed she gets the results she needs, she has worked very hard. There were lots of tips about being organised and offers of personal support. Emily’s last exam is on my birthday so we have a great evening out planned, hope we can both stay awake!! There is a lot of pressure on the kids to do well and be up to the expected standard despite so much missed time and unsupported learning and there will be many who don’t get the results they want or need, but there are always other avenues to explore, so fingers crossed for everyone things will work out one way or another.

Challenge Feb 5th

 The rhyme for this Outlawz challenge is Wordsworth’s I wandered Lonely as a Cloud;

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

The poem was written in 1804, apparently inspired by an event on 15th April 1802 in Ullswater UK

It’s a long time since I did any poem analysis, so this is what I think and what inspired my card. Daffodils and clouds are obvious. The words in the clouds are the feeling I get from the poem, that he is dreaming, imagining and wishing, he uses the words pensive and thought. The stars and hearts are words in the poem; “Continuous as the stars that shine” “And then my heart with pleasure fills”

The daffodil pattern is from Form A Lines and is part of their Birth Flowers collection. Daffodil is the Birth Flower for March and is the National Flower of Wales. The clouds, stars and hearts are cut with my Cricut Joy and are in the subscriber images. Card is Hunkydory Adoarable Scorable. it’s a perfect card for a spring birthday or for someone taking exams or starting a new job or even a new baby.