Bedtime

The current Sunday Song & Rhyme challenge is set by me and I chose the rhyme Bed in Summer by Robert Louis Stevenson. I liked this rhyme as a child and I am sure that I stitched it onto a pillow case.

In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer, quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see
The birds still hopping on the tree,
Or hear the grown-up people’s feet
Still going past me in the street.

And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?

As someone who used to work shifts I was used to

“In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.”

and also

“In summer, quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.”

For the last 25 years I have suffered from ME and spend a lot of time in bed so very much feel

“And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?”

I decided to create a Get well Card

The cat in bed is a die from cottage cutsz, the window is also a die, the sun, moon and rainbow are created on my Cricut Joy as is the wording. Mounted on pearlescent pink card.

Check out this and other challenges at https://outlawzchallenges.blogspot.com/

Another year older, but not wiser!

 I should not complain, many people are denied the privilege. I got married on my 30th birthday so this year is my 52nd birthday and 22nd wedding anniversary, where does the time go to?  As well as being my birthday and wedding anniversary the date has become significant in other ways down the years. On my 35th birthday I found out I was pregnant with my daughter following IVF treatment.  This year my now 16-year-old daughter took her last GCSE and left school too so it was a busy and emotional day. Next year Father’s day is on my birthday, so another emotional one.

We were lucky with the weather and had a quick picnic in the park. Even with a birthday in June you can’t guarantee good weather (My 18th Birthday was very hot, but the day we got married was quite cool and windy and it rained so we didn’t get any outdoor photos). Later we went to an Abba themed meal and show, it was brilliant, but I am still recovering! It has made me really dizzy from the noise and totally worn out. The day was as much for Emily as me, which is why we chose the Abba event, she is such a fan. Abba formed in 1972 so I grew up with their music. My favourite song is Winner Takes it All, but it makes me cry! It’s a very powerful song. I once wrote a blog post relating it to ME! Emily knows all the songs off by heart, I only know the keywords. All the songs have great tunes and lyrics.

I have just seen there is an 80’s themed dinner show in September and a Christmas one, they are great , but hard work. There are some lunchtime performances too, but I always go to bed after lunch, so not much use for me. The evening ones keep me up way past my bedtime, oh dear I sound so old!! I am sure I am 52 not 92!

In the weeks leading up to my birthday/anniversary (and also Christmas/New Year) I find things very difficult as it marks the passing of another year where I feel I have made no progress and that life passes me by.  I feel I miss out and have missed out on so many experiences over the years and feel that I am running out of time. I haven’t been able to work since the year 2000, which is now a very long time ago.

Emily has just finished her GCSE’s and is try to work out what she wants to do next.  She has conditional places at colleges to do A levels, but can’t make a final choice until she gets her results. I feel like a bad role model and despite having two degrees to my name, most of the time I cannot understand anything she is doing.  I feel like I live in a different world to everyone else.  I am desperate to do some special activities with Emily once she leaves school as I feel I have missed out on so much of her growing up, but it is only possible now that she can push my wheelchair and communicate with people for me.  It is not much fun for her, and no 16-year-old thinks it is cool to be seen with their parents let alone one in a wheelchair and that cannot hold a proper conversation.  I do feel that having me as a parent has affected the way people view her.  At parents evenings I had to ask to see teachers in a side room rather than be in the noisy and overwhelming environment of the school hall.  School have been good in facilitating this, but it makes us stand out like a sore thumb, which is the last thing I want for me or Emily.  I just want to be able to fit in and be normal and the same for her.

I find not being able to work soul destroying, I am only 15 years off retirement age now and have no income or independence.  I do know many people who have worked hard and been able to retire in their 50’s, whilst I wonder and doubt if I will ever work again.  I don’t know how to accept that I will never work again and be at peace with it, it still feels so wrong.  I also have no idea what to do with myself as everything feels such hard work and my concentration and stamina let me down. I was told in my PIP feedback that as I do craft activities and do drive therefore I cannot have concentration and cognitive issues, try telling my body that!! It’s awful and takes all day to get so little done.

I enjoy craft activities and mainly make greeting cards.  I have a website, but they don’t really sell as I don’t have the time and energy to promote as well as make and I think cards are going out of fashion and other people making much higher standard and intricate designs.  I have a few friends who sometimes buy from me, but other than that I have to give them away! I spend more time looking for ideas than actually making things!  I always have a huge list of things I want to make and never get around to most of them.  I lose concentration very easily and make lots of mistakes so get very disillusioned.  I always want to be productive, but rarely get much made and feel bad as other people seem to produce loads.  I am currently taking part in an online craft market, but I have only sold one card, whilst other people have sold loads and I get really upset.  I can’t win really as I get upset if I can’t sell things, but then get in a panic if people want me to make things and worry about letting them down. 

I wonder what being 52 will bring?  In reality I don’t suppose much will change, life will plod along and I will plod along with it.  At our wedding we had the song “One more step along the world I go”, which many people may remember from school.  Ironically it was written in 1971, the year I was born.  Lyrics here for those who don’t know it https://www.hopepublishing.com/find-hymns-hw/hw4713.aspx.  We do keep taking the steps,  “from the old things to the new” , travelling “through the good and bad” and finding “courage when the world is rough”.  I have done more than I think I have, but it all feels like just filling time, rather than doing anything worthwhile or meaningful.

And on that note I have to end as I am exhausted and need to rest. I have to be able to drive later as Emily is going back to the Gymnastic group she helps at and of course it is the one day that Rob is not around.

Singing in the Rain

The chosen song for Outlawz Sunday Rhyme June 11th is Singing in the Rain. For this I chose a duck and umbrella cut with Cricut Joy and drew raindrops with Cricut Joy and wrote the wording Wishing you a birthday as happy as a duck in the rain. Inspired by being happy in the rain. Mounted on Hunkydory adorable scorable then on a white card.

Monkey Business

 The challenge for Outlawz Sunday song and rhyme for May 29th is the song Swinging on a Star by Bing Crosby;

Would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a mule

A mule is an animal with long funny ears

Kicks up at anything he hears

His back is brawny but his brain is weak

He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak

And by the way, if you hate to go to school

You may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a pig

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face

His shoes are a terrible disgrace

He has no manners when he eats his food

He's fat and lazy and extremely rude

But if you don't care a feather or a fig

You may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a star

Carry moonbeams home in a jar

And be better off than you are

Or would you rather be a fish

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook

He can't write his name or read a book

To fool the people is his only thought

And though he's slippery, he still gets caught

But then if that sort of life is what you wish

You may grow up to be a fish

A new kind of jumped up slippery fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo

Every day you meet quite a few

So you see it's all up to you

You can be better than you are

You could be swingin' on a star

To start with I was going to make a card with a donkey/mule, but couldn't decide how to do it so then moved on to a fairy swinging on a star created with my Cricut and the background is from a Hunkdory topper pad;

In the end I actually submitted another card that I had been making as it is fun and different all the monkeys aren't in the zoo and swinging;

It is created with Cricut Joy to draw and cut number and write and cut greetings.  The Monkey, vines and bananas are cut with Creative Expressions Cheeky Money die, The camouflage backing is Hunkydory.

The challenge is now live and is for 2 weeks. 

Say it with Flowers

 The Monday Greeting challenge at Outlawz is to create a card for a non holiday celebration and to include flowers. To be a bit different I chose to celebrate having a good friend, so hope that fits the criteria. It’s made with a flower and butterfly cut on my Cricut Joy and lettering written with Cricut Joy, backing paper is Hunkydory and card blank is from Craft UK.

Board Games

 The Outlawz Twisted Thursday challenge for May is board games this is my take on Scrabble, created using First Edition Alphabet Tiles die. Its a bit fiddly putting them all together and I was lucky it fits on a card. I wanted it to say Happy Birthday to You, but couldn’t make it fit. Would be good to do personalised with names if they would fit, for example my husband’s name Rob or my daughter’s name Emily would fit, but my name Jane wouldn’t.

Last year for Valentine’s I made this framed picture for my husband

My Challenge

The rhyme for Outlawz Sunday Song & Rhyme for April 30th was chosen by me. As most of the challenge period was in May I chose

May Is Pretty, May Is Mild
by Annette Wynne

May is pretty, May is mild,
Dances like a happy child;
Sing out, robin; spring out, flowers;
April went with all her showers,
And the world is green again;
Come out, children, to the glen,
To the meadows, to the wood,
For the earth is clean and good,
And the sky is clear and blue,
And bright May is calling you!

May is pretty, May is mild,
Dances like a happy child,
On a blessed holiday,
Come out, children, join the play!

I had lots of ideas about children playing, but decided on a stitched card of the birth flower for May. Taking inspiration from the words May, green, pretty, flowers,

The pattern is from Form-A-Lines Birth Flower collection stitched in green and silver, backed with green and mounted on white card. I have made most of the cards in the collection, they are beautiful and effective.