Memories

The song in my head this morning is Memory from cats, it was a favourite of my Mama's and the wrords are quite poignant

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember
The time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every street lamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters at the street lamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
A street lamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with my memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look a new day has begun

We are all left with many memories of Mama, she loved us all and shared our growing up.  Many memories of staying with her and Papa, days out (especially to the seaside), her cooking for us and knitting for us or singing songs to us, think the one I remember most is How Much is that Doggy in the Window.  She used to tell stories about things I did as small children, think the one she told most was either me telling the vicar to be quiet when he started his sermon, or me using her gloves to mop up spilt coffee at my Auntie's wedding.  I am sure many more memories will come along and make us smile in these difficult times.

Mama is now on her way to join her much loved husband, I am sure she will find him asleep in a chair and will go up and nudge him saying "stop snoring Frank!"  She will be with her mother Jane, who she missed every day since she died 57 years ago and my cousin Simon who was sadly taken from us in an accident at 37.  I am hoping too that she will look out for my three babies who did not make it, I know they did not make it much past conception, but they feel like babies to me. Its times like this when I wish I could have more IVF and have a child for them to live on in, but I am too old and the chances of success are very slim and along with the cost and trauma, but it does not stop the wishes.

As ever I am so grateful to my husband and daughter who are getting me through this one day at a time and to dear friend Pat who always seems to know what we need and is good at listening, bless you all.

For my last crafty creation for Mama I want to stitch a card, which can then be copied and used on the service sheet and Mama can take the card with her to her final resting place.  I was going to do a rainbow design http://www.stitchingcards.com/product.php/641/rainbow but am now thinking about butterflies too, so not  sure what we will go for as other people need to be involved in decision.  I just hope that I will be able to see through the tears to stitch it.

Rob has been looking through photos to use for a service sheet.  I love this one from Emily's 1st birthday