Monday, September 15, 2014

Bad day

Been a bad day today, not totally unexpected as a hectic weekend with family, which included a visit to Garden of Rememberance to see my Papa (grandad) it would have been his 95th birthday today and my cousin who died 3 years ago see post, a family meal at Rajdhanirestaurant, seeing a family members new house, baby sitting and talking, not to mention travelling there and back!!  So this morning I was in tears as it was all too much and I couldn't cope.  I have spent most of the day in bed, except for struggling with a bath which was a big mistake and doing an internet shopping order not good use of my energy, but at least its sitting down.  Rob had to come home early to collect Emily and cook her tea before her gymnastics class, then they had to rush off because I got the times wrong!  They should be back soon.

Looks like there is a problem with my new washing machine as we can't open the door, luckily the washing in it is clean and dry as I have no idea when I might get it out!!

As usual when I am feeling so unwell I get very upset and feel so useless.  I had to miss first day of a curse I was supposed to start today Five ways to wellbeing, I was really upset as it makes me look so bad and I have also changed things around so that I can attend, including having to get rid of my carer who has been with me for 6 1/2 years.  I should have known better than to even think of attending something on a Monday.  My carer used to come to me everyday so we got to know each other quite well and have been through a lots of things together.  More recently she only came once a week as I had to get something that was more flexible to meet my needs.  I will miss her a lot.  The chances of me getting there next Monday are also slim as I have another busy weekend coming up, with a charity book sale, harvest events and quilting class.  I was also due to start a free online course at the end of September which I pulled out of so I could go to fiveways, so I am not a happy bunny!

Just been looking at this event Yarndale, I would love to go, but its unlikely as Emily would not want to go and we will probably be with family that weekend. I get so upset that I am not able to do things for myself, but that's life I suppose.  I love this sheep, he was in our local library for a while

I have been getting very upset recently as I just don't have the time and energy for making things and really don't know where the time goes.  I was making an anniversary card for my parents, but didn't finish it.  I am trying to make the Elsa doll for Emily and there are several other ideas I want to try and I have to do a small part of my quilt before Friday, but with appointments and everyday life I don't see much chance.

Emily is back now she will be full of what she has learnt so I had better go and listen.


  1. Aww bless you,sounds like you've over done things.It's so frustrating when the mind is willing but the body isn't able.I am the same, have all these ideas and plans that far exceed what I'm capable of.We give ourselves a hard time over the things we can't do but seem to not recognize how much we do everyday when struggling how we do.You have only just got through the summer hols and have had a lot going on before that, plus all the emotion of the weekend.Take some time to rest and be kind to yourself.x

  2. Thanks Rachael I am really struggling, its such hard work and as you say I give myself a hard time and feel so useless, there is always so much to do and I never have the energy. Its a cruel illness.